3 days in, one month gone.

I can not believe that it will be July 1st in a couple hours, for you guys, another 12 hours, the summer has officially gone into phase 2 out of 3. This time in the provinces, Takeo, there was no internet access except for our beeline adapter, it kind of look like a usb drive, but connected to your computer and credit, you could access the internet from a tower, but it was super slow, so I could only view emails, but not send any out because it would take a bajillion years plus a couple of light years. So, it made it difficult to email and blog.
This trip out to the provinces was an incredibly different experience than our previous trip to Battambang and Pursat. It was not that the experience was better or one province was better than the other. But, there was a quite a difference between Takeo and Pursat. Takeo province is the province right to the south of Phnom Penh and it borders Vietnam. Takeo drive was a nice one because the landscape was made up of hills and mountains. So, pretty, breath taking beauty. I hope that was not an awkward sentence. Oh well. It was just beautiful, cruising down the main highway in our big, blue van, the clear blue sky and the intense heat. We were going to the southern part of the province. We were so south, that we could see the Vietnam border between the two countries. It was so crazy to see the mountains of Vietnam in contrast to the mountains of Cambodia. I did not realize how close were to Vietnam. It really challenge my perspective of how close countries are together. I am so use to being in Minnesota that my perception of distance is not used to this. It took about two and half hours to get to a main town that was near the border in Kiri Vong District in Takeo. We left Phnom Penh at 6:15am and said our last goodbyes(at least for now) to our internship directors until the end of the month. We arrived at this town near 9:00 am and ate at a restaurant, which for the next couple days, we ate there everyday for breakfast. Side note, it was soo cheap. You could get fried noodles with eggs, vegetables and meat for 6000 riel ($1 and some change). You could also get a big plate of rice with chicken for 4000 riel ($1). Holy crap. So cheap. You cannot find this in Phnom Penh, well at least in the area we are in. But, after breakfast we went right into the villages.
After going into some different villages, we walked up one of the mountains near the last village. Holy snaps. It was hardcore hiking. Were lead by two men from the village. They were so fit and as we went up they would light cigarettes and smoke them. Even when we were going up some hardcore inclining. I was in shorts and flip flops. It was major fun and the view, once we got pretty far up, was just absolutely amazing. Hardcore hiking and I was not really afraid of the bugs or anything. I think after being here in Cambodia, you become just use to everything. There was a beautiful stream of water coming down from the top and we washed our hands and our faces. Super refreshing. There was a hilarity of fun that happened as we were going up the mountain. One of the guys we were with was going up and brushed against a leaf. All of a sudden someone scream out. I looked and he was cover with fire ants. It was kind of scary and it was just funny how calm he was and he just brushed them off. Oh, btdubs, fire ants hurt. I got bit by one on my hand. They hurt, nuff said. This mountain that we climbed had bones, from the Khmer Rouge era. Don't worry, I did not become over emotional. The scene of the mountain and the wind blowing between my fingers helped calmed me down. I said a prayer for the people who were killed on this mountain and even though there bones were still there. Hopefully, my prayer made the spirits there rest a little bit calmer until a proper ceremony can be preformed. That mountain was just... words cannot describe how I feel now. =)
Well, that was day one of the trip and it ended with a home cooked meal at one of a very good friend now, their house. I had the best food for dinner there, it was like eating at home at my parents. Ginger stir fry with chicken, teuk greung, bamboo soups and so many more delicacies. We had dinner there for the next two or three nights. I knew I was getting some good home cooked meals that there was no need to eat lunch. Besides, I never really eat lunch anyways. But, I am pretty sure I gain a ton of weight from that trip and actually this whole trip. well, as soon as I get back, hardcore running outside. I miss running. A LOT!
Besides that rant, the rest of the trip was wonderful. Oh, yeah the guest house was just an awesome time. We all shared one room together and our bath room was the jankiest bathroom ever. Actually, it had a nice little atmosphere to it. The bathroom was lit with a dim red light and there was a bucket and a toilet with no cover. You had to use water from the bucket to flush the toilet. Super exciting, but it was an upgrade. I could have been using the outdoors for the bathroom. But, the room was fun sharing it with the other 3. We usually just passed out right away when we got back which would be around 8pm or 9pm. That is late for us now. Sad? =) I also learned ont his trip the power of playing cards. It was fun to play bomb because the older adults love that game. I didn't know Cambodians knew that game. They were quite excited that we knew. We also learned some other fun card games, like 3 card and Gaet They. Oh, I am bringing that games to the states or at least my family. It was fun to be in the provinces, but I think the best part was being able to interact with the community and feel that once they knew I was Cambodian, but born in the United States. A spark happened and it was like I was part of the family. It felt nice to hear people call me by Kun and speak to me in Khmer. It was nice.
Oh, the second to last day, which was yesterday. We went walking around the fields and we saw an awesome bunch of ducks. Like a hundred of them getting herded back into their cage. It was super cute. So cute. Video of them will be posted when I have good high speed internet, which will most likely be in a month when I am back.
Yes, I will be back in a month and a half. It has been a crazy, wacky and cool one month. I can't believe that this much time has elapsed since I have been here. It is funny how slow the days go and how draining and exhausting it gets, but it is amazing that when you look back, it has been a month. A month away from Minnesota and the summers. Speaking of summer in Minnesota. I am sorry about the wacky weather everyone. So crazy. So crazy.
Well, July has come and this next month will be tons and tons of work. At least two trips will happen so that we will not go insane. One being Angkor Wat and hopefullt the beach in Sihanoukville. Well, it is getting late, as it is 10pm. I am going to the killing fields, Cheung Ek again, for a ceremony. Early in the morning once again. Oh, and I think I blew out my battery charger for my camera. Sad. I guess I will have to buy batteries now. Oh, two pictures I have posted, one of the mountain view and the other of the cute ducks. Enjoy.

You can try, but it happens.

Presentation day came yesterday. I think that everybody had a sense of my anxiety and nervousness. It always happens no matter how well I prepare for a presentation and as I have said before, it happens a week before the actual presentation happens. Well, the presentation went pretty well, if I do say so myself. It is funny how fast time goes when one gives a presentation. But, our presentation was part of a day workshop/conference that started from 9am and went on to 4pm. Our presentation was schedule to be at 2 pm. So during the morning, it was a lot of formal stuff and a 30 minute documentary, "The Long Awaited Day", a documentary about the first Case 001 of the Khmer Rouge tribunals. During the whole morning, I had been thinking about why I was here and why I decided to come to Cambodia. I thought about this heavily because for the presentation, I was going to tell audience in khmer, why I was here? What were my personal reasons. As I thought deeply about why I was here, my mind filled with thoughts about my family. I kept replaying throughout my mind about why I was here. This is what I decided why I was here.

Kyoum mao srok khmer bi pruuh bokmadai kyoum gaet neay nih. chnam 1979, bokmadai hae neung bong srey, bong proh youm ruet jing mao pi srok khmer tiev srok amariik. payl kyoum goun meen, bokmadai kyoum prap roueng pah gey samey polpot. kyoum deng roeung nih vi babak niyeah geng mao. mai youm prap youm dai, sokun, kyoum deng kloun ain gaet niew a nih, ban dael gum pliq kloun ain koun khmer, gum pliq bokmadai mao pi srok khmer. wup po toa pah kyoum ge jie wup po toa khmer, ge jie wop pu toa kampuchea krom. A neng vih sumkan mein thean. taah kyoum kang pa, mao pi kampuchea krom. youm out jeng pliq roueng khmer dey. ba sun youm mean koun, kyoum jeng aw goon youm deng reung khmer. Youm jeng prap goon youm, gum pliq kruesaa yeung mao pi srok khmer. kyoum jeng prap beuk khmer duet kyoum, niew srok amerriik, niew srok khmer, niew srok jeng oh nie, reung kampuchea krom, reung khmer jeng auh nih.

I came to Cambodia because my parents were born here. In 1979, my parents and older sister and brother escaped out of Cambodia and came to the United States. When I was a child, my parents told me about their story during the Khmer Rouge era. I know that these stories are very hard difficult to talk about. My mother also told me, "Sokun, I know that you were born here, but don't forget you are a Cambodian child and do not forget your parents and family are Cambodian. My culture is Cambodian culture all together. It is very important to me. My grandfather on my Dad's side came from Kampuchea Krom. I do not want to forget where I came from, the stories and history of Cambodia. When I have children, I want my children the history and culture of Cambodia. I want them to not forget where their family came from. I want to tell Khmer people like me from United States, from Cambodia, from all over the world about Cambodia and it's culture and history.

This thought kept replaying in my mind over and over from 9am - 12pm, which then Lunch was scheduled. I got more emotional and emotional every time I replayed this over and over in head because this is why I was here. I was here because of my family and because of my culture. The documentary that was held in the first part of the conference/workshop did not help me contained my emotions. Stories of the witnesses and clients of Case 001 was told within the film, which just built my emotions to a height. By lunchtime, I did not have an appetite. After 30 minutes into eating, my team notice from the beginning of the day that something was wrong. They were right, I was ready to burst and let it all out. Rothany took me on a walked to the outside balcony. I was trying to tell Vinita and her that I wasn't upset because of my high anxiety and nervousness of the presentation, but because of how important and how much it meant for me to be here in Cambodia, the film added on another layer and also about how guilty I felt. I felt guilty because, once I tried to tell Vinita and Rothany why I was truly emotional, I just started to break down and cry. Rothany took me to the corner of the ledge and I let everything out. I felt so guilty that I was crying because I thought about all of the people who lost their own families, their brothers and sisters, mother and father, their children. I felt guilty that I felt like this because I still had my family. The guilt got to me and I just had to cry. I still had my family, Prida, Day, Renee, Mom and Dad, my nieces and nephew and everyone else. I just felt guilty to have these emotions, these tears. They shouldn't have happened.
After having calm down and letting everything out, it was reassuring that how I was feeling and reacting is okay. No matter how many times I tried to keep my emotions at bay, try to be okay with everything that is happening. It is a challenge for me. A huge challenge for me to deal with the hard issues that I hold so dear to my heart. This was something that nobody expected to happened, not even I. I guess things just happen and it really assure that life is full of unexpected things.
So, after this emotional day. It was nice to go out and have delicious spanish tapas and go out to dancing once again. We went to a club called Darlin Darlin, that had a live Cambodian band, doing covers to Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and ect in Khmer. So good to hear Lady Gaga in khmer. lol. Oh yes, and the infamous song, Jump up , let's get crazy was sung in Khmer as well. Dancing, I think for me, will always be the solution to keeping up spirits high as well as a good workout for the body.
Oh, before I go. I leave to Takeo province (the province/ home of my Grandma on my mom's side) to do field work in the southern part of the province. So, I will not get to see my Grandma. I will be back on Wednesday. So depending on if we have internet or not, this might be my last post til then, but I am hoping that there is like the one in Pursat province, but we will not know until tomorrow. I leave at 6:15 am. So early. Til then, let hope that things will go well the next couple days and I am sure I will have lots more updates.

Food. Food. Food.

Food, food, food. Presentation at the VSS is tomorrow. It is almost 1 am in the morning. Am I nervous? Yes. Is this normal? Of course. Hopefully, one day I will be able to deal with it and overcome my phobia, my fear. But, until then let's just talk about food. As you can see, I have snap a couple pics of food from my iPhone. Tonight, we went to KFC. It was bad, but we heard the chicken is very different, different in the sense that it is real chicken from the country side. Little did we know, it was. The chicken was a little bit tough and not fake white bleach. I felt that I did not consume massive amounts of hormones and other scary chemicals. So, I felt good. I can't believe I just justified my KFC experience in Cambodia. =P KFC was very interesting. A lot of people who eating there looked like they were from the upper class. It was not a surprise because I had that same experience in Pizza Hut in Beijing. In which that Pizza Hut was so classy and nice. But, besides that, we decided to go there because Justin had been craving KFC since we first saw it in Phnom Penh. So, tonight was the night. The results = not so bad.
But, besides that, Rothany, Jessica and I with the help of fellow travelers found an awesome restaurant called Mother in Law. Awesome name? I think so, but the menu was an awesome selection of foods. Foods that were all of the home cook meals that I was used to at home. We finally found a menu that not only had Banh Chiow (yellow pancakes), but also Khnom Pa Chok( Fish noodle soup) and Khnom Pa Chok Kari( Chicken curry noodle soup). Oh man, I had been craving for all these yummy, delicious foods. Oh my god. The street that we lived on is very touristy like and all the restaurant are catered for travelers. So they are stocked with burgers, fries and stuff like that. So that was the food that we have eaten for the past couple weeks, since it is close and we have a lot of work to do. This made the restaurant that we found just so delightful.
The food besides the ones on our street are all very good and delicious. Everything that is Khmer that I eat reminds me of home and all the awesome home cooked meals my mom would make.
Did you like this rant about food? Yes, I am nervous about the presentation. I always get myself worked up days before. So I am currently trying to prepare myself as best as I can and hopefully it will all go well. Cross your fingers for me? And maybe pray? =) The long awaited Friday has finally come. Saturday will be a rest day and from Sunday to Wednesday, I will be leaving for the Southern part of Takeo Province to do some fieldwork. So the next week will be a work filled week, more countryside and more fun times that I predict!

Giant crickets that attack.

A couple nights ago, I believe the 20th, I think for some reason bugs, insects, geckos, lizards, ect were just attracted to me. I have never had so many bugs fly into my face, back, shoulder, leg, everywhere. That was the day that I finally got my first and only bug bite. Most likely a mosquito, but what a shame. I was very distraught for awhile. But, it began with dinner at a very good Indian resturaunt, yes an Indian resturaunt, I went to another one the night before and had Chana Masala. The chickpeas in the Chana Masala were not cooked, but I was crazing Chana Masala that I made the best out of it and ate it. But, this resturaunt was super good, we had a lot of chicken, vegetarian and fish type dishes. Super good, but before the food came, a bug that resembled a cockroach flew on my nose. I, of course, freak out and then it lands on my shirt and I got it to get off and it landed next to the person on my left. Then we all had a major fun time of, "Where did it go?" and then at the same time I was saying, " It was on my nose! AHHHHH!!!!". Such a lovely time at dinner after the whole cockroach looking thing fiasco. After dinner, we decided to hit up the night market in Phnom Penh. I was very excited to see this night market. I did not know what to expect. When we got there, there were so many people. A lot of aromaic smells mixed into the air along with some unpleasant smells, but luckily the aromatic smells over powered the unpleasant ones. The night market was quite busy with a section that was all different types of food ranging from any meat on a stick to fresh squeezed sugar cane juice. That was fun to watch as they put whole sugar cane and crush the juice right out into a cup. So extreme. The cafeteria/eating area was pretty awesome, in the sense that it was a bunch of straw mats on the floor. It reminded me of home because we have one of those straw mats at home. Than there was the other half of the market that was all clothing, merchandise, you name it whatever, there was a stand full of stuff animals, to a stand that just had one brand of shampoo. There was also a talent show stage in the middle with people singing Khmer songs in front of the crowds. The crowds went wild for this! It was super entertaining to watch live singing. Well, we began walking and my eyes wandered and looked around all the exciting things that were being sold. All of a sudden something hit my face, and then went on my back and down my shirt. Naturally, I finched and made a scene. I shouted to Rothany, "What is on my back?". She responded back with a jump back and, "Ahhhhhh, a bug". Then, I was like get that off me, please someone. Finally, it came off me and I was like oh why me? I made a spectacle out of myself and could hear murmurs of people speaking in khmer about the cricket on my back. BAHHHH!!!!!! Embarrassing. Well, the night went interesting. As we walked around and stopped at several stalls, I swear I was that bug attractor. I kept walking and bugs were flying into me and tiny tiny bugs flew near my mouth and I am pretty one almost got in, but like a fruit fly type thing. Ahhh. Not my night. But, the night market was very lively with a lot of teenagers. It seemed like a spot for young people to go to and take their friends and hang out or their significant other for a night out. Super chill, super cool. Well, we decided to walk home as well, it was a nice 30 minute walk back to the guesthouse. The weather was super nice and honestly, it was the first long walk in Phnom Penh that I have had. I miss walking. It is difficult to walk in the Phnom Penh because of the traffic and the lact of sidewalks and crosswalks. But, this walk was nice and breezy. The scenery was very nice. I wished that it wouldn't have been cloudy, but at least it wasn't raining. We finally got home and this crazy bug day was over. Please no more bugs.

Betagen in the morning, Work in the day, Dance at night

I am actually quite addicted to this fella. It is called Betagen and it is a yogurt type drink that comes in a 6 back. I always grab the multi flavor pack. Because then it is a surprise which flavor I will get next, but I suspect that I will eventually figure out what color corresponds to what type of flavor. But, for now the surprise. i think the one I had this morning was strawberry. Yum. =) It has served as my breakfast for the past couple mornings, coupled along with a some bread and coconut yogurt. Coconut yogurt, best thing ever. It is so good. There are literally mountains of coconut bits in the yogurt. this makes the yogurt so good. Speaking of yogurt, I did pick up what I thought was Strawberry Banana yogurt, it turned out it was corn and red bean yogurt. =( I do not think that was my favorite at all, interesting, but not the greatest, actually not that good. I have been enjoying eating breakfast in my room because it not only saves money, but I am a little sick of going out to eat for EVERY SINGLE MEAL. No more. So breakfast at least eliminates one out of the three meals. ^-^
The past couple days has been a lot of work time for us to go over what we did last weekend in the provinces. We have a presentation to give this upcoming Friday, so I have been working on my part to collaborate a presentation with the other interns. But, since we have arrived here, it has been major work, super intense work, very emotional work that we have all encountered since the start of this internship. I took yesterday as a full relaxation day/personal responsibility day for myself. For myself, before I was going to get crazy. It was nice yesterday to just journal freely in my journal and just not think too much about work. I think this was a much needed break that myself, along with the other interns, needed as well. Everything so far has been an absolutely amazing experience that is only once in a lifetime. But, even so that, everyone needs a break and time for themselves, I believe. Yesterday was absolutely amazing.
Well to coupled all of this fun things, we decided to go out in Phnom Penh and go dancing. That was quite an experience and quite enjoyable to let out all of the frustration and stress through the art of dance. We arrived at the Saint Topez club, it sounds so classy, and it actually was a little classy. Super ritzy joint, everyone was wearing white. I came in with plaid shorts, some flip flops and a red shirt. That was classy, but as we arrived there and got off the Tuk Tuk. A familiar song was playing, a grand song, a pre-game song, "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. Rothany and I rushed in and we danced to Bad Romance like cat playing with cat nip. Absolutely wonderful. Two songs later, "Poker Face" came on. Ah, I think this night was meant to be. It was meant to be teaser before the real Lady Gaga in August at the Xcel with Tina. Well, the night continued at Saint Topez. I can only describe the dancing here with a few words, "awkward high school dance". It was that essentially and every time we went out to the dance floor, I think either people were laughing with us or at us. Either way, it was nice to just flow with the beat and dance. Well, the night went on and more dancing continued, "Jump up, Let's get crazy" song came on, a reminiscence of Beijing 09'. Some other fun tunes. I must not forgot that "Tik Tok" came on as well. Thank god. Well, we moved on to another club called Mr.M. Don't you love these names? We got there and the music/bass was so loud. The music was techno and as soon as we walked in, we walked right back out. It was just that awful and there was no one there. So, we again moved to the final club of the night, "Heart of Darkness". A shady club if I have to say so myself. Rumor has it that a lot of shady things happen here. But, none the less, the music was decent and there were a ton of people inside. We got in and it was super dark, a ton of people and a ton of dancing. Oh and did I mention, no cover charge at any of these places? So nice. But, we got to the dance floor, the music was okay. We were about to leave and finally trek back home until "Calabria" came on. Once that beat ran through our ears, it was like the a surge of energy into our bodies. Once again, dancing resumed. Well, after that song, we decided to head back home. We took Tuk Tuk back. Had a little disagreement about the price with the Tuk Tuk driver because he was trying to rip us off. So we took another. Got home and I fell asleep.
I think that dancing is the cure to a stressful anything. =)

I do not think the intensity will stop. Choeng Ek.

Choeng Ek, the killing fields. One of the more well known killing fields known to the outside world. Today, we joined TPO (Transcultural Psycho-social Organization) for their final day in the 4 days process of Testimonial Therapy. This was the day they would hand over the testomonies of the clients in a Buddhist ceremony. It began with going to Choeng Ek.
As I entered Choeng Ek, it was that same feeling I had as I went into S-21. My heart began to beat faster and faster and my breaths became short. I scanned across the hilly landscape and listened to the serene wind blowing in the background and the sounds of nature. How could this peaceful place be turned into a place where people were brought and killed brutally. As we walked inside and passed the gates, there stood a tall monument. As I got closer, I noticed that the glass monument was filled with skulls and bones. The monument at least 4-5 stories tall. I stood there frozen looking at the monument and gazing into the glass. I don't remembered what was going through my head. This was where the first Buddhist ceremony was going to place, to honor the spirits who passed away here. We walked through the Choeng Ek so that the others could set up mats and prepare for the ceremony.
Walking throughout this landscape, it was hard and difficult for me. It was hard to see the spots that were marked off as massed graves of a 100 bodies were here, 200 bodies were here, 400 bodies were here and I finally saw the tree, a tree that I have only seen drawings off, with a sign that said, this is where children were beaten and killed. I just looked around at the hilly landscape and the pits was where bodies were tossed. There was even a tree that was used to hand a stereo to massed the sounds of the moans of the people who were dying.
As we walked around here, I noticed that some of the clients could not handle being around here and with the bones of the victims who have died. This place is a place a lot of Cambodians do not ever go because the spirits of the ones who have died have never had a proper ceremony to send them off.
We made it back around to the front of the memorial and there were two monks sitting at the top of the stairs. I took of my shoes, sapeh (clasp hands) three times to the monk. I got some incense sticks and prayed and put them in a pot at the top of the stairs. The the Buddhist ceremony began.
Afterwards, we all packed up and went to the Wat(Pagoda/temple)that was nearby to do a Buddhist ceremony in handing over the testimonies. This was a very intense and very heart wrenching ceremony for everybody. Testimonies/narrative summaries were read in a Buddhist ceremony to the monks and the people that attended. All of the narratives were very hard and difficult to listened too. I, being a very emotional person and how all of this hits so close to home for me, it was very hard for me to keep my tears back. It was difficult to see some of the clients so emotional and some of the narratives of these clients were so difficult to here.
Each narrative, just reminded me about how lucky I am to have my family again and that my parents somehow made it to a safe place during samaey Pol Pot (Khmer Rouge Era).
After my first experience at S-21, I thought I would be able to handle anything that came after that. But, I think that everything here that I have experience so far just hits so close to home. That everything I experience will be difficult and very intense. That this is okay and acceptable for me to feel. I thought that before I could move on, but being here in Cambodia, where my roots take me back, will be difficult for me, but I just have to remember about the future and about the changes that we can make.

Kos (rub) Khyal (wind), really? That means I am Cambodian.

Part two. When I woke up this morning (the earlier blog), I had an excruciating headache, a really bad migraine. I just thought I needed some water, so as I woke up this morning, I drank a bottle of water in one gulp. It did not go away. So I decided to get some vitamin C because I had been lacking a ton of vitamin C, so I took 1000mg powder Vitamin C and drank yet another bottle of water with one gulp. I have been trying to avoid all tylenol and advil. I want to get over this headache the natural way and honestly I have not taken any medicine in 2 years. Throughout the whole day, my head was just throbbing like a someone hitting a drum. Hitting a drum and never stopping. By noon, I was delirious and I couldn't tell if I was warm because it was just so hot. The van ride did not do anything to help my headache, it just worsen it. By evening, we had arrived in Battambang Town and we climbed a huge mountain where there was a lot of Buddhist temples and Wats. That was not a good idea. The mountain was steep and it got hot. I was super irritated that I BARKED in khmer when little Cambodian kids were trying to ask me if I needed any tour guides. I barked back in khmer, I DON'T WANT ANY, AI YA!! Now, as I reflect on that, I feel very bad, but my head was just throbbing with pain. After almost 2 hours of going up that mountain and going down. I was reading to just get in the van and just rest. Well, after a very bumpy ride, we arrived at one of our friend's parents house. It started down pouring, the first heavy rain of the moonsoon season. I would have loved it if I wasn't feeling bad, but it just made me even more hateful of life. We ran into a gazebo type hut that had a hammock and I laid on it. It felt good, but my head was just like a drum, beating from within with the conductor missing in action. We moved inside the house and I decided to lay on the wooden type bed. I think everyone felt bad, even I felt bad that was not feeling well. I hate when I don't feel well, it brings down the dynamic of the group. Well, I decided to run back to the van and grab my tiger balm so I could rub and it on my next on my neck. I decided to grab a quarter and Kos Khyal, or Gua sha in Chinese, or coin scratching my neck. Kos Khyal is a Cambodian, traditional medicine/technique to rub out the bad wind from your body when you do not feel well. My parents have been doing it to me ever since I was a kid. Well, it was hard and awkward to do, but it relieved a little tension in my skull and helped me last through dinner, which was very delicious, homecook Khmer food. Just like at home with my family. I also drank two beers and honestly not a good idea. It was more force, so I chugged two beers right away, so I could just show how college kids can drink and to get people off my back.
Well, by the time we got back to the hotel in Battambang town, which by the way is very nice. It is called the President's hotel and it is by far the nicest. I could not handle my head, so I had Rothany kos khyal my whole back and then I took some Salon pads and stucked them on my forehead. I never thought I would even kos kyhal here or have Rothany do it, but right now I feel so good. I don't believe that kos kyhal is a placebo effect, I think it actually works.
Funny story that I forgot to mention, our friend's mom, I was talking to her, she was surprised that I kos khyal and it broke her stereotype of Khmer-American kids. I was very proud and she was also very happy that I did that. well, right now we are all inside one room just typing away on computer with very fast internet finally.

I finally feel okay.

Here is a picture. Ahhh, I trusted Rothany. =)

Yes, 7:44 pm on June 13th, Monday, I did indeed knocked out cold.

Yes, I did passed out last night. I was extremely tired. There was a lot I could have gotten done, but maybe my body needed to the rest and the extra hours of sleep. Yesterday was a very long day. The first half went very well, we were able to take pictures and talk to an awesome Khmer Krom member. The second half was very long and very hot. The sun in the countryside is extremely hot. It beats on you like drums. Literally like drums. We tried to walk along the road in the village, but we couldn't last for 10 minutes. We had to come back and sit underneath shade and even that was just terribly hot. I might have gotten tired from all of the heat. I did not think that too much heat would make one extremely tired, but it really does, it really does. Shocking. It shocked me. We are leaving in one hour and we are going to other villages to visit before we head to Battambang and then tomorrow back to Phnom Penh. Back to home, I can't believe Phnom Penh has become my home. I am quite excited to sleep back at the Golden Tour Eiffel guest house and see the adorable Chinese couple that owns it and Mr. Sna! He is my favorite.

Homesick away from Home

There is access to internet in the provinces. I was very surprise. It is currently my second day in Pursat town, Pursat Province in Cambodia. Again, it is a northwestern province and I am pretty sure Battambang province is next to it.
As I sit here in my room, my roommate/other intern is passed out. I am surprise that I am up at this hour. 10:23 p.m. It is funny how days seem long here. They start so early and end so early. I passed out last night before 8:30 p.m. because I was just exhausted. I also figured that the heat has something to do with it.
When I woke up this morning, June 13th at 6:00 a.m. (yes, that is the time I get up along with every other Cambodian, I guess am getting myself into the daily wake and sleep call now). I knew that my family in Minnesota was getting together at my brother's for Olivia's (my niece) fourth birthday party. It is kind of weird that I am exactly 12 hours/ half a day ahead of Minnesota. Besides that, I knew at that very minute, my family was all together and I got very sad. I started to long for my family. I was not in a happy mood that I could not eat during breakfast. As the day went on, I just keep longing for my family and as I heard stories of the Khmer Rouge era (samay pol pot), I just thought about how lucky I am to have my family and to have my nieces and nephews. I wanted to cry during this stories, but I knew I couldn't because I still had my family and I felt that I could not cry.
Being homesick was what I was definitely feeling this morning, but I did not want to tell any of my other teammates. I felt that I had to deal with it because I did not want it to bring the group dynamic down, as well as having to go through the whole process of people watching out for me and making sure I was okay. I decided I had to just deal with it myself. It is unhealthy, so as soon as we got back to the guest house in Pursat Town, I told my roommate how I was feeling. I think I can only convey my feelings on a one on one and not in a group ( like this morning when we were having breakfast, I was very uncomfortable letting people know in a group setting). Maybe that is the type of person that I am.
By night, one of the other interns(Jessica) let me use her skype to make calls. I finally got to talk to my older sister. It was so nice to talk to her and hear about Olivia's birthday party. It seem like it was a lot of fun. We talk for a 20 minutes. During the conversation, I just thought about how happy I was to hear her voice that there was a point where I almost cried. But after we hung up, I somewhat broke down, but with tears of happiness. Afterwards, I watch two episodes of How I Met your mother with Rothany, Jessica and Justin. That show is always a feel good show. I decided to call my mom and I talked to her for about 30 minutes. It was so good to talk to her in khmer. I have never used so much khmer before and I felt very good. I miss everyone at home, but I know that before I know I will be back again in August to see all of the wonderful faces that I hold dear to my heart.
(Now that I know how to use skype and calling people directly from it, be expecting calls tomorrow morning my friends, or more for Minnesota people, later this evening, around 7pm or 8pm.)
Being in Cambodia really hits me close to home. There is so much that reminds me of home through the sights, foods, smells and language, but I am not at home.

Off to Pursat Province we go.

It is 5:44 am in Phnom Penh, the sun has just begun to rise and it will still be hot and humid, another day summer day in Cambodia. We are off to Pursat, which is a northwestern province of Cambodia. I will be there until next Wednesday and doing fieldwork. It is about a 5 hour car ride to the province.I got up at 5am because I did not pack last night and I thought it would be easier just to wake up early and do it. I am very nervous because as soon as we get to Pursat, we are going to be diving right into the work we are doing right away. This will be very experiential and very exciting. I hope that all goes well today. This might be my last blog until Wednesday, but I might have access to internet there. I am not sure, but we will see.
I have a feeling it might be hotter in the countryside. So I bought myself a cambodian scarf to fend off the extreme heat or it might just rain, since it is the rainy season. I am hoping our car ride goes okay because it is the rainy season and if it rains, it will be hard. Most of the roads to these outer provinces and then these districts and villages are all dirt roads. Rain, dirt roads and vehicles do not come out with the best combination, maybe fun. But we will see.
I got the butterflies in my stomach, it is time for a 5 hour car ride and to do some work!!!

AJA Summer JAM project

Never did I realize that I explained what I will be actually doing in Cambodia. I might have, but here is another explanation. Here it is everyone! I am interning for Access to Justice Asia, a recently new NGO. I will be part of the Summer JAM (Justice, Art and Memory) team. Our project will involve us working with the Khmer Kraom community in the Pursat and Takeo province. The Khmer Kraom or the "lowland khmers" are an indigenous group.The Khmer Kraom once occupied the south-eastern tip of a sprawling Kampuchea Krom empire for several generations, but retain deep linguistic, religious, customary and cultural links to Cambodia. Today the Khmer Kraom have been relegated to the southern tail of the state of Vietnam, in what is An Giang province.
What exactly are we doing? We are focusing on the Khmer Kraom community in the Pursat and Takeo provinces. Instead of focusing on the stories of the Khmer Rouge and the victimization of the Khmer Kraom or any Khmers in general that the journalists, photographers and ect have really focused on the past 20 years. We want to move away from that spectrum and focus on how the community has survived and perserve it's culture through photography. We want to move away from sites of crime to the sites of hopes and inspirations. We want to show what it means to be Khmer Kraom through their culture.

Tuk and More Tuk Tuks

The traffic in Phnom Penh is very bustling. When one observes the way the tuk tuks, motos, bicycles and cars (that include the small ones, like the mini cooper (so surprise when I saw this) to the big ones, like the couple hummers I have seen)one would most likely think there would be accidents everywhere. All of these different modes of transportation all share the road together. There are virtually no stop lights. I have only seen maybe two, but then again, I heard that no one pays attention to them. I have only seen one or two stop signs, once again, most likely to be ignored. It can be pretty intimidating to see and watch. Generally people drive together in the same direction, but sometimes you will see people driving against traffic going the other way. No surprise to anyone. The way traffic works in Phnom Penh that I have seen so far,is that everyone yields at all time and that traffic is pretty slow for the most part. Pedestrians just cross through when they find openings and vehicles will just weave around. It was a little worrisome when I saw a woman and her young baby just cross through heavy traffic like it was no worries. You see pedestrians just weaving in and out of traffic like it was easy as pie. This was like Beijing, but ten time magnified. It was just so interesting to watch. I have to admit that my first time crossing a roundabout was scary. But when I got the sense that people will not hit and just drive around you, the heavy traffic becomes less intimidating and more natural in a way. I learned that there is a rule to traffic here and it is that small vehicles must yield to big vehicles. Not too sure where I heard that from, but from observing traffic, it seems that way. Phnom Penh is not really made for walking, since sides and crosswalks are non-existents. So the use of tuk tuks are very frequent. They are very fun to ride in, with the breeze blowing through your hair on a very hot and humid day. It is very NICE! Even when it begins to downpour, the ride is very relaxing as the rain just pours down like falling rocks. Tuk tuks are very nice since they are a very inexpensive way to get around the city. The negotiating the price of fare is the fun part. By the end of this trip my bargaining language skills will be superb!

Rainy Seasons

Today may have been the start of the rainy season in Cambodia. Rain in Cambodia is so majestic. It was very hot and humid today compared to the other days. I was hoping for rain to come down during mid day, but it did not happened. Today was very interesting. I went out to the outskirts of Phnom Penh for my internship today. We got very lost because there are some street signs or most (from what I have observed), don't really exist. So it almost took our tuk tuk driver an hour to get to the destination because we were lost. On our way back to the guesthouse, it was late afternoon and it began to sprinkle for a couple seconds and then it down poured. It down poured like crazy. It was very refreshing from the hot and humid heat. It was also very pretty at the same time as I was watching from within the tuk tuk. The rain is unlike rain I have experience. I usually am not a fan of rain, especially after our week of cold rain. This rain was just mystifying I watched the drops of water drop in to the side of my seat and hit my foot. It felt amazing to feel the cool rush of droplets on the ends of my toes. It continued to rain for awhile and I believed it stop for a little bit, but as soon as I got to the guest house, I talked to my roommate for a while and passed out like a log. When I woke up, I went to dinner at this Thai resturaunt. As soon as we were finished, it began to rain again. I am building a new appreciation for rain, especially after the pass couple days in this hot and humid climate. The humidity here makes Minnesota humidity look like a vacation.But I believe I am building a better relationship with the humidity. I feel that we are getting to the next stage and becoming friends. Finally.

S-21, the eyes of forgiveness

Today was the first day of the internship. Let's just say it was very surprising. We met lots of important figures and learned about a lot of new stuff. I might even be going to Pursat Province this weekend now.
One of the things that we did do was going to S-21, Tuol Sleng. Before we went there, at lunch, I was very nervous to actually go to Tuol Sleng. Tuol Sleng is the high school that was transformed into the torture detention center and about 17,000 people ( men, women, children and elderly) were executed. Only a handful survived through this. As we arrived to the abandoned high school. The stone wall that surrounds the buildings had barbed wire. This gave me chills and it was hard to see. We got off the tuk tuk and went inside. As I walked passed the gates, I look around at the several buildings that were contained in this complex. It looked frightening and gave the pictures that I have seen in books, internet and media, a name for a face. We went to Tuol Sleng because they had a special exhibition that was up and we wanted to check it out. It was located in building "c". So we proceeded to that building. Walking across the yard to get to this building, I felt a very uneasy feeling. I felt that it was not right to be here. We made it across to the building and walked inside. As I walked inside and looked around. I looked at the walls that had marks everywhere and the tiles on the floors that were broken and stained.The first room we went into had pictures of the persons who came through this facility. As I look at each of the pictures and into the eyes of the people. I started to think about how they felt when they got there picture taken. Every set of eyes had a sense of fear within them. I began to think of my family and I imagined, this could have been them, this could have been them. It was getting to my head and I started to cry. I could not hold back as I walked into the next room to find skulls and more pictures of the people who died. It is hard to described the feeling I was feeling at that time. I started to shake and I felt like my legs were numb. When we got to the end of the first floor, where the there were stairs to take us to the next floor, a Cambodian man, around his mid 40s, stopped us and saw that we were crying. He told us that it is hard to see things like this and he told us about his experience during this dark time in Cambodian experience. The others from my group found us and took us outside to get some fresh air. After a couple minutes to collect my thoughts and calm down a bit, I decided to go back into the building and go to the top floor. We made our way to the top floor and back down. When we got back down, our team wanted us to meet someone in the next building over. We made our way over to the next building and went up the third room. When we went into one of the rooms upstairs, there was an elderly man on his phone. We were told that this was Chum Mey. He was one of the handful of people known to have survive. He only survived because they used his mechanics skills. It was a blessing that I was able to meet with him and talk to him in khmer. I tried to use my best khmer, but it was hard to get anything out of my mouth. My mind had collapse with all of the things that had been going through and my mind froze when it came to speaking anything, english or khmer. It was very powerful to be face to face with him. I stared into his eyes, they were so majestic and there was a ring of blue around the pupil. I could see that these eyes has seen a lot of bad, but a lot of good as well. I could tell by these eyes, they had moved on pass the suffering and on to the future. It was just so powerful. I am so happy I was able to meet him and it just made me feel so happy that I could understand everything he told me. After the encountered, we went back outside to convene, when Chum Mey met us at the entrance of the building and as a group of Singaporean students walk by, motion Rothany and I, and the group to come. He showed us his cell, where he was locked up. We went inside and he went inside his cell and maneuvered his body in the position he sat in the cell. He told us that his hand would be tied back, his eyes covered, and his foot chained to door. There was a small gas looking container for him to pee in and a metal tool box for him to defecate into. He said that if there was any mess or if they had missed the two items to be used for the bathroom. They were forced to lick up there mess. He also showed us how he had to sit, as well as how he sleep. He described how his back was so swollen that he could sleep on his back, but on his side. But because of this, the chains would rattle and the guards would assume he was trying to escape. They would come and give him lashes. Even after writing this down in word form, I am crying right now. It made me feel so lucky that he showed this to us by his own will. He told us that he wanted us to bring back these stories back to the United States to let other Khmer Americans know about what happened here. I am emotionally drained. I might just call it a night.

Ramen noodles that are better than drugs and a visit to the pond.

What an interesting Sunday. I woke up at 7am. I guess I am still jet lag/leg. It began with a lovely breakfast at Garden Cafe #2 with AJA summer team, where I had sunny side up eggs, hashbrowns and bacon. Afterwards we decided to venture out into the markets of Phnom Penh. We took a tuk tuk or amoak (in khmer)to the Russian Market. I love the name of this market. Russian? Who thought of this? It was like the Silk Market and Pearl Market of Beijing. I used my bargaining skills and it went pretty well. This time I could actually understand what the vendors were saying and could bargain a deal. The Russian Market was very crowded, very sweaty, and had winter coats and sweaters to sell. Winter coats and sweaters? Huh? I guess at the night clubs here, it is very high fashion and very in. The market did not smell wonderful because of the mix odors of everyone's sweat, but when we got the food side, it smelt like my mom's house. The fun odors of dried fish, prahok(fermented fish) and hanging various meats.I ended up getting a matching set with Rothany that consisted of a fanny pack and a red cambodian scarf. I also got some fake birkenstocks. A wonderful hit at the russian super market. Bargaining was okay here. There were obviously some set prices, but unlike the Silk Market where you can usually get the price you want. We tried here and it did not work often. I also bought an awesome tin tin shirt. It will be a surprise. I love it!
Afterwards we went to get some drinks and we stumbled upon Good Time Cafe. The name was wonderful. I hope one day I can find Fun Time. It will never replace Stairway to Love or was it heaven? That was a piece of bar. But as we walked in, I noticed that there was a bench and in front a pool of fish. It turns out these fished clean off your fish. They were called Dr. Fish and it would nibble your feet and clean off all the nasty stuff off your feet. We all decided to peer pressure each other and we did it! It was super ticklish for me. Everyone else was laughing. Justin told me that they have full body ones of this type of fish massage. Yup, I do not think that would be happening for me. There is a picture of my feet above if you would like to the see the cute adorable biting/nibling fish.

We went to Lucky Supermarket to get some snacks and groceries and what not. What super nice place. I ended up buying a box of ramen noodles and some cookies for my grandmother. The box of noodles was really fun. On the side of it said, Khmer Mee Yeung that are better than drugs. Hilarious. Also on our way to the super market, we saw an awesome sign that said Helmets were vaccines, One Helmet, One live. An awesome slogan. Alcohol is super cheap, whiskey = super cheap. I heard there is this whiskey called Mekong Whiskey that Sangeeta told me about. It is around a $1. I am guessing that it is bad news.

We got back to our guest house and had a little incident with the tuk tuk driver. It was a little awkward and he was super pissed. But he charged us a really high fare for the trip. But, we ended up just paying and moving on.

I called my grandmother finally. My mom scolded me for not calling her when I landed, but I forgot and I am still trying to adjust. It was the cutest conversation ever. I was super excited and she could understand everything I was saying. She wants to go to Kampong Sam (The beach side where my uncle lives) when I go. I am hopefully going next weekend to meet her with my cousin Jin Long. Hopefully she likes the noodles and cookies I got her! Super excited. She sounded very happy!
Did you know that in Asia, How I met your Mother is really popular. Super interesting I have to say.

I am very tired and think it is time for me to sign off. Tomorrow begins our actual intership work. It starts at 7:30am and a meeting with the various NGO's and S-21.

Til the next.

P.S. When I was taking the picture of the ramen noodles, I ended up knocking over a jar of spaghetti sauce that belonged to my roommate Justin. Somehow we got it cleaned up with no paper towels. We used wet wipes and a plastic bag. Very artsy and creative,

Zai jian!

Stir fried ants and a slice of humidity pie

My first day in Phnom Penh has been very adventurous and fun. I am still a little jet leg, is that what they call it or is it jet lag, hmmm, I am not too sure, but I only got about 3 hours of sleep, waking up every hour and finally decided to wake up at 6:30ish am. It was nice to see the sunlight in my room and I was a little confused where I was, but I am going to just say I was jet leg/lag. My cousin Jin Long came and took Rothany and I out to eat kha thiev/pho/noodle soup. It was located in shopping type mall that resembled the Silk Market in Beijing, but a lot less chaotic as well as cleaner and I did not see any bargaining whatsoever. The kha thiev/pho/noodle soup was a little strange, it tasted like water soup with a ton of vegetables and meat. Not the best that I have had. So I need to find an awesome noodle shop soon. After we had lunch, my cousin took us to the arcade level on the top floor and we played the basketball and shot hoops together. I kind of felt like a kid and we had a lot of fun. I have never hung out with a cousin that was my age so it made the experience ( not that all my experiences haven't been wonderful), but this experience was meaningful to me. I am trying my best to pull out the best Khmer that I know to communicate with him. It has not been so bad. He even complemented on how clear my Khmer is and how he is able to understand. That was a major compliment that helped boost my comfort level with using Khmer. He even told that my Khmer is a lot better than my brother, Day. That made us both laugh.I got a picture with him. Super exciting. Top of this blog somewhere.

After the shopping, it began to rain. The monsoon season is beginning to start. The rain is super nice except that the hotness and humidity do not disappear. What a shame! We passed the palace where the royal family lives, but unfortunately it was not opened and it opens later in the afternoon. We ended heading back to the guesthouse and dropped Rothany off, while I went into get a camera. He took me to a musuem that had a lot of statues, artifacts, weapons and ect that dated back to the Angkar time. We paid a dollar to get in for the both of because we were Cambodian. The lady got confused and asked my cousin if I was Cambodian and I responded to her right away and said yes. It was a building that housed a lot of artifacts with a center courtard. It was super nice and very pretty. We fed all of the goldfishes and koi fishes in the pond. They were savages and devoured all the food within seconds. We left the museum and I went back to the guest house and had a meeting with my AJA summer jam project.

The meeting was very entertaining and I finally got to meet everyone.I am very excited to start our summer project. The meeting went by relatively quit and soon after it was crash time back in the room. I decided not to be rest and walked around the vicinities of the Golden Tour Eiffel.

We had a dinner later in the meeting with the whole crew. It was wonderful when I had stir fried beef with tree ants. It was too bad at all. The ants were burnt and tasted like black pepper. I just had to get over the idea. I had a little freak out when someone ordered fried tarantula and this little adorable boy carried and brought it to every person around the table. Let's just say I was freaking out a bit. It was wonderful, but I was super tired and people could tell I was ready to passed. Another picture of the stir fried ants with beef.

That is where I am now. Sitting on my bed, writing in my blog. But to change, but it's time for bed.

Good Night,

Sokun Bobson

Finally made it. Golden Eiffel Tower.

After 28 or so hours of awesome airplane travel. I have finally arrive to Phnom Penh. My flights were pretty smooth and actually very entertaining. All of my flight's seats were window seats which I loved and I sat next to very cool people. My flight from MSP to LA, I sat by myself. I had a whole row to myself, so I slept across it. Super nice. From LA to Seoul, I sat next to an older Indian couple. They were super nice and very fun to talk to, even though the wife could not speak a lot of english. They were some trouble with the seatbelts and stuff, so I helped them out. I think they really appreciated that because they would wake me up when food was coming and they were very interested in where I was going. During this long flight from LA to Korea, I was able to read a lot of the articles I brought along as well as finally watch movies that I have been meaning to watch.

Alice in Wonderland
Ghost Writer
Valentine's Day
Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief
The Lovely Bones

That flight went really well considering how long it was. I didn't mind, I love flying, it's so much fun!
It was super interesting when I switch from Delta to Korean Air in LA. A majority of the Korean Air flight attendants spoke to me in Korean during my two flights with them. I didn't know how to respond except in English or a head nod. There was even an incident that involved my ethnic identity. On my last flight from Korea to Cambodia. I sat next to a Korean-American man who was from Seattle. He was doctor, I think and he was going to Cambodia to do some missionary work. But, he asked me what I was doing in Cambodia and I told him about my project and about my family. Then he asked if I was of Korean heritage and I said no. He was very surprise and commented that I looked Korean. I thought that was interesting.

I got into Phnom Penh at 10:30ish pm tonight. I got through customs relatively easy. I got outside the airport and I saw Rothany and she told me to go towards the exit sign. That is where I met my cousin, Uncle Songli's son, Jin Long. He seemed very excited to see/meet me. I tried to used my khmer language abilities, but I was super nervous. We said our goodbyes and I found out he lives very close to the guest house I am staying at for now, the Golden Eiffel Tower. It is actually not bad at all. I like it! I didn't get to see much of the city because it was so dark, but the driving in Phnom Penh is a little crazy. I don't think I saw many stop lights and it seems that traffic was controlled by whoever was behind the wheel.

I think I am tired, but I am not sure. I should probably take the opportunity to sleep and get my body used to the time differences.

Good night!

All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go..

Leaving on a jet plane is a wonderful song. But, I wished I was packed. I am at my parents house, sitting in the living room, a huge mess that is sprawl across the floor. My mom is trying to call someone in Cambodia, but the call is not going through. Super frustrating. My mom is actually annoyed with me, I did not start packing til 11 p.m. That's when it began, 2 hours ago.I would have to say I am half way done. Packing is like writing a paper, I just procrastinate til the very last second.
T-minus 7 hours, 15 minutes. I am going to the airport around 5am. Thanks to Tina, I will be there to catch my flight and start the awesome flight across the sea. I had my last day at work, it will be weird not working at Starbucks and seeing all my awesome baristas/friends and all the awesome customers/friends who come through. I will miss them all. I am nervous, jittery, jumpy, oh gosh. Too many feelings just racing in my thoughts. Am I scared? yes. Am I nervous? yes. Am I excited? YES!!!I bought myself Super Mario Brothers for my ds with Annie, so hopefully that will keep me occupied, along with a people magazine that Mads graciously bought. Love it. I don't know what I will expect, but do not worry. Surprises can be awesome or not awesome, but that is life and this is life. I am excited about life. Til then, I will keep packing and hopefully get some sleep, but I doubt it. =)

Flight 2821, 7:15 am, Thursday, June 3rd (Pre)

It is Wednesday, June 2nd. In 31 hours, I will be aboard a plane on my way to Los Angeles, board another plane to Seoul, Korea and then to Cambodia. Am I nervous? I thought I wasn't, but now I am. I have just started the midst of packing, but as I look around the room right now, listening to the sounds of Sophia from Golden Girls on the television set, there is clothes scattered across my apartment's living room floor. Eek!! I have one more shift at Starbucks tomorrow, my last 8 hour shift for awhile. There is a lot going through my head right now, from how are people in Cambodia going to judge me as a Cambodian American, a heritage traveler to will I be able to use my language skills, my Khmer and get myself through Cambodia for the next 10 weeks. 10 weeks, 10 whole weeks. That makes me super nervous, I have never been away for that long. But, this will be an experience of a lifetime and I am very grateful that I am able to have an internship in Cambodia and be involved with the genocide courts and also the Khmer Krom community. I know that this trip could be very emotional, even typing this, I am getting very teary eye. I am excited to meet my Yey (grandmother) for the first time. My first time meeting any grandparent. What will I say to her? What will I do? Will she like me? Will she say my Khmer is balum balum (broken)? Super excited and super nervous. I need to pack, but I might go to sleep now. Packing is usually the best when it is last minute. Something that I am very good at doing.